You all know that I'm a big Jeremy Clarkson fan, but some weeks you go to the Times of LOndon and discover he's got the week off to conduct a mock crucifixion of Tony Blair, or to shoot ecologists.
On those days, you scout around the website and you might run across AA Gill. Gill does to poor restaurants what Clarkson does to Mercedes Benzes and Vauxhalls. So it's by-the-numbers sarcasm dripping with bons mots and just happens to be excruciatingly funny, if you like the same humour as me.
And if you do, you don't need to know about the restaurant in question - well it is in London, after all - but the lead up that makes this sentence priceless is worth the detour:
I think all professions should do this, except gynaecologists.
Go and read it now.
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I came, I saw, I gnawed it to death.
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6 comments:
Thanks for that dear VVV.
I love Jezzy Clarksons rants and now AAGill.
It was worth the detour and the commentors kept up the fun (you'll have to go back and read them).
and my VEGETARIAN sensibilities were smacked by this bit:
"The Easter milk-fed lamb has a serious premium. A drunk man with a stocking on his head has to grab the teeny-weeny, gambolling, gamine-eyed, plaintively bleating baby from its mother’s nipple, then shoot it in the face with a nail gun while mumsy runs in circles. I can’t imagine why you can’t get it at Tesco, or why Hugh isn’t encouraging us all to do it in our back gardens. It is utterly delicious and worth every soft, sentimental bleat. The chops are the size of shillings and the meat is sweet and giving, with the texture of warm silk camiknickers ..."
AAGill must be sucking camiknickers or rubbing his dinner between his fingers.
Makes Our Nigella look like a bit of a girl, really.
And the comments were very good.
Hi Phil
I love AA Gill - have you checked out his TV commentary in the Sunday Times? If you think he's cruel to cooks, you want to see what he does to celebs.
xxx
Pants
jeez Phil - if you think it's difficult doing the analysis on your Rural & Regional, spare a thought for Pants.
After 25 years in Hackney she is now assessing real estate here - of which there is such a far-flung LOT ... I mean, I recall being told in primary school that "England fits into Victoria 8 times over"; and for that stunning education I thank out Government.
She'll only get The Times online in the tiny towns she is hoping to settle to.
Yep -well for Mrs VVB and me it's been a weekend of looking at houses and trying to decide...it's fun for a while, then it's a pain.
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