So I go into this office block and the single (and solitary) lift has a sign in front saying, "Under repair. For your safety and convenience please do not use."
So for my inconvenience I had to use the stairs, for my safety I went up on all fours. The wheelchair bound and Daleks would have been in strife.
When I grow up I want a job where I get to write signs that really piss people off. It must be so gratifying.