01 March 2011

get a haircut and get a real job

As someone who has laboured within the machine - or more accurately but superfluously, a series of machines - for some 40 years, I was mightily taken with Ms Pants' stories about some of her recent encounters with the bureaucracy. Tales of the entirely expected, as it were. So taken was I that I sent the link to a number of friends and one replied with a description of some of his own experiences. Read on...

"Coincidentally when I first got up here I had a similar experience(s). I went to one of the recognised employment agencies with my resume, and after some banal questioning they said I should do a Word and Excel test.

I said, 'didn't you read my resume, I've been working in IT for thirty years.'

She said, 'sorry sir, it's our policy that you do a Word and Excel test and also a typing test.'

(Yes, they made me do a typing test as well!).

I finished the test and she said I did well on the Word test, but my Excel and typing were only average. I replied that the difference between being average and excellent on the Excel test was only about four hours and in any case I wasn't looking for a data entry position.

I just got up and walked out and never heard from them again.

Amazing experience.

At another place across the road they asked me to sign an agreement to lock me into their services and I said I'd take the long document home to read and bring it back.

Well, the roof fell in...should've seen the woman's face drop. 'You can't do that...take this away from the office!'

Me: 'But I want to read it properly before I sign it.' The manager was called, papers were rustled, faces were frowned. No, I could not take it away and read it. I had to read it right there.

I got up and walked out. This time I rang DEST and got onto a nice bloke who was horrified. He got onto them ,they rang me and apologised and said I could take the paper away. I didn't bother."

There is of course a somewhat ironic twist to posting this blog. Despite hours of searching for fixes, I am still unable to copy and paste between programs. Thus, I had to type his story out in full. And no, I am not a good typist.


Ann ODyne said...

although it was equal pleasure and pain, thank you for sharing your friend's stories.
I am constantly intrigued by the attitude a certain type of person takes on, once they get behind a Reception Desk. It must be a named syndrome (like syllogism etc) and I wish I knew it.

I know a lovely man with a Masters Degree who has been through loads of shite with employment 'facilitators' in a regional city.

'further reading':
Rats In The Ranks
Grass Roots
The Hollowmen.

Pants said...

Hi Phil

Thanks for the plug. I'm glad to know other people have had a similar experience. Not that I'm happy they had a hard time mind, it's nice to know it isn't just ME! I sometimes think I'm going mad.

I got much the same response from agencies here as your friend. Experience gleaned abroad apparently means nothing - what would those idiot foreigners know about anything?

To paste into blogger, you simply switch from Compose mode into Edit Html mode. It wasn't always like this. I found, when blogger made these editing changes about three years ago, I was tearing my hair out trying to insert copy. I found it simpler to switch back to the old editing system.

Good luck



phil said...

Well in the words H L Mencken, "bugger me, it works."*

Thanks Ms Pants, may sweet lollypops drop on Larrikin's end and middle until the winter solstice.

*This may have been mistranslated.

Snowbrush said...

Without the power to impose mindless requirements upon others, many people would have no reason to get out of bed in the morning,

psizzler said...

glad it isnt just me!

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