I was sorting through the old man's papers the other night and found this newspeak, bureaucratically correct version of the 23rd Psalm. I don't think he wrote it, but as a fan of the peculiarities of the English language, as well as knowledgeable in several other tongues, he certainly could have given it a good shake. In any case, despite a few clunky bits I think it needs a broader airing, so with no further ado...
The Lord and I are in a shepherd-sheep situation and I am in a position of negative need.
He prostrates me in a green belt grazing area.
He conducts me directionally parallel to the non-territorial aqueous liquid.
He returns to original satisfaction levels my psychological make-up. He switches me on to a positive behavioural format for maximum prestige of his identity.
It should be said that notwithstanding the fact that I make ambulatory progress through the umbrageous inter-hill mortality slot, terror-sensations will not be instantiated within me due to paraethical phenomena.
Your pastoral walking aid and quadruped pick-up unit introduce me into a pleasurific mood-state.
You design and produce a nutriment-bearing furniture-type structure in the context of non-cooperative elements.
You act out a head-related folk ritual employing vegetable extract. My beverage utensil experiences a volume crisis.
It is an ongoing deductible fact that your inter-relational empathetical and non-vengeance capabilities will retain me as their target focus for the duration of my non-death period.
And I will possess tenant rights in the housing unit of the Lord on a permanently open-ended time basis.
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