29 July 2009

the tragic treasury (*)

Someone sent me this earlier today. I'm sure it's doing the rounds of the whole intertubes and people's e-mail inboxes, but in lieu of anything remotely as sensible from VVBSea, I pass it on in all humility.

Actually you can delete the humility bit, the keyboard wrote that by itself.

I'd also be a somewhat sceptical about the 10 million ageing workers bit, but the theory speaks for itself. In a menacing low monotone, if I'm not mistaken.

Which I often am.

Subject: Letter to the Treasurer.

Dear Mr Swan

Please find below my suggestion for fixing Australia's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan.

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - Unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car. Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/TAFE/university - Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....and there's your Money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of Parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.
Yours sincerely

The Whole Country

(*) - no, I had no idea either

2 comments:

Marshall-Stacks said...

If any one of us was able to wade into any one of the money-sucking govt industries we could halve it's overheads instantly.

The health industry would not cost billions if there was not at least 5 hospital blankets in the home of ANY staff member you care to investigate; Centrelink's billions could be halved if their offices were not heated to tropical levels right through winter (check the staff in the short-sleeved silk shirts as you peel off your scarf and gloves and overcoat).
oh dont get me started.

The most community-costly unit is the bad-child out there with NO FEAR of authority. These ferals know that cops on the parents doorstep get the finger from the folks as well.
They should all be euthanased
(not joking - my info comes from a DHS employee and the stories are mind-numbing).
*sigh*

phil said...

"oh dont get me started."

Looks like that particular stable door was not sufficiently well secured...

The genetic inheritance of the bogan community I can well agree with.

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