And the Council wants us to go down to the beach to celebrate Australia Day, when the pub directly across the street closes its carpark to accommodate the queues for the bar. Last year was bloody frightening, to be honest.
I'm relieved that at last some notable Australians, who tend to get listened to seriously, are speaking up that the trend of lots of youths wearing the flag as an invitation to violence is not really what Australia Day should be about. The question is, how many years will it take to reverse the trend?
Meanwhile, the Democrats have lost the traditional seat of Massachusetts, previously owned by the Kennedy dynasty or, later in the evening, the Bee Gees. What this means is that the wheels have fallen off the communist, socialist, leftard takeover of the United States by B. Hussein Obama and we can expect his party - who like all communists, socialists and leftards are weak, spineless, traitors - will be running back to Iraq, Kenya, Indonesia or wherever the hell they came from, pdq. After which all will be well with the world because the filibuster will be reinstated. A filibuster is what I used to call it when I fell off my bicycle.
OK, you can stop laughing now.
In the UK, previously British owned Cadburys has been bought by US firm Kraft which means that its next product, the iChocolate, can only be months away. Thousands of good upstanding British citizens will lose their jobs specifically because someone said they wouldn't, and they'll be replaced by illegal immigrants from Islamia. The Times has all the commentary.
Finally, a nice young man visited us but people had to call him Your Most Extremely Extremeness, because that's what he is. His mother claimed to be the Queen of Hearts (tm), although I could have sworn that was Juice Newton. The only downside is the thousands of forests that had to be cut down to report on his extremelitude in the newspapers, and the coal that had to dug up and burnt to power the proverbial packetloads of pixels to those who are internetically energized, information-wise.
So that's all. Going forward, I forecast fewer blogposts and more meditation, including regular breathing. The political class have emerged from their summer hideaways to engage in their meaningless, forest-devouring, coal-munching, pixel creating twitter (not tm in this case). According to the PM, provided about 357,000 assumptions hold true, we'll all be $16,000 better off in 2060.
The PM also noted that we will be older but in fact, regrettably, many of us will in fact be deceased and I want to know what he's going to do about it.