i feel fine

I can't get excited about programmatic specificity vs. the budgie smuggler kid, but the impending UK election still has me (the half-arsed VVB version of) enthralled.

The Times reports a Conservative idea to re-privatise the banks through a discounted share purchase scheme. But the peoplezzzz are not buying it:

I'm not interested in gimicks. What I am interested in is a long term economic recovery, safe streets and a future for my children. That means leaving the EU,
closing the door to further immigration and the deportation of a great many and
it also means an end to politicised laws and judicial processes that has put crime prevention in to the hands of the politicians rather than the police. All of these are fairly standard, non controversial, mainstream conservative ideas - at least they once were. As they are no longer I shall be voting BNP or if they don't field a candidate UKIP. As for the "big three", there is no perceptible difference between them either in ideology or morals.

Here's a few suggestions for you, lads.
1) Stop all immigration. We don't need it.
2) Promise to deport all illegal immigrants and recently arrived legals who
commit crimes.
3) Tell the EU to reform or we walk.
4) Cut all quangos. They waste money and are as big a threat to democracy
as the unions were.
5) Radical welfare reform.
And that's just to start you off. If you'd like more electoral tips, then,
in the words of Harriet Harman, you know where you can find me!

One QUESTION people, who remembers Mrs Thatcher and her side kick Ronald
Reagan? These are the two people who single handed, passed our countries monies
to the banks with deregulation. Oh they are also Tory and right wing in their
politics Rich=Richer, Poor kept in their place. Not one of the current political
parties will do what we really want, which are as follows:
1. Re-regulate the banks as they were before Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum
got their hands on them.
2. Tax the banks to the neck line on all their transactions and make sure
that the costs are not passed on to us.
3. Make them pay back all our tax monies plus interest before they dish out
bonuses.
4. Stop Immigration dead in the water, I don’t care where they come from.
5. Pull out of the war in Afghanistan, Iraq. Leave Iran alone and force
Israel to make peace with the Arabs.
6. Get shoot of the multi government guanos.
7. We do not need two aircraft carriers waste of money
8. Make the lazy British BORN trash get off their backsides and get a job.
Or no money, if there are no jobs, make them in areas that can be of use to the
country. Not in management positions, we need alternate power sources, use this
cheap source of labour as a means of enabling this pledge.
9. Oh and quit the parliamentary privilege / expenses your reward is having
a great job.
10. No ministers/MP’s (families members included) to be allowed to act or
seek employment in any area of business that they have passed legislation for in
parliament or have had access to secret government documents during their career
in government for at least 10years.Any party that would do these things and
really mean it, would get my vote!
HA HA HA HA!! FAT CHANCE

I am particularly interested in the government guanos - we get a lot of that here.

Finally, I'd have a better chance of understanding this one without so many apostrophes and quotation marks.

You "Can Knock Maggie"!,but she "Did have "Balls" even though she was a Woman"!
LEADER,put an Advert in the "Guardian"! Jobsworth's need "Not Apply"! Which
restrict's the "APPLICANT'S TO "10" MAXIMUM!!!!