it takes a lot to laugh (*)

Here's a couple of jokes to cheer you up.

"May I take your order, sir?" the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"
"Nothing special, sir," he replied. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

I forgot to ask whether you needed cheering up, you'll notice. No big deal, I find it more often the case than not that people seem to need cheering up.

If you want more, go here and you can sign up to get some light relief in your in-box every Friday. I've not run across the proprietors in person, they seem to be from the Martin Seligman Positive Psychology school. Maybe this sort of stuff doesn't work for you, I'm aware that there's a fair amount of scepticism about it. However boats, what floats, and so on.

(*) and, of course, it takes a train to cry.