in the year 2525

Actually, in the year 2026. This weekend, The Australian has kicked off a series of liftout magazinettes about Australia's future.

In a moment of utter irony, the intro is by the PM, who has an eye as clearly fixed on the 1950s or maybe the 1890s, as the rest of us might have on the rest of this weekend.

The intro has clearly been written by some poor junior staffer somewhere, because it just limply reprises the dominant narrative of the last couple of decades: "Over the next 20 years, Australia's global competitiveness and success will depend on our ability to recognise and seize our opportunities and to meet emerging challenges." Yawn, how many million times have I read that?

Nothing about households and families there in these market-oriented days, but as a little analysis will tell us that Australia is actually made up of households and families, the message is clear. All households and families must become globally competitive.

So I suggest we all start now. Vision statements, skills audits, Six Sigma, Business Process Re-engineering, Boston Consulting matrixes, Seven Habits of Highly Globally Competitive Households and Families, you name it, you do it. You do it now.

Ah, but there's a catch. Towards the end of the piece, once we've dispensed with being belted around the ears with market-oriented solutions, we get....wait for it...yes, you guessed it, terrorism. We could still "be fighting the scourge of terrorism in 2026."

What better reason to have you-know-who still ensconced in Kirribilli? After all, he'll only be 87. Oops, cricket's unlucky number! I think I've inadvertently stumbled on his retirement date. You read it here first, folks.

Have a good weekend. Now, where's that butcher's paper...