02 October 2007

free four

(1) The situation in Burma remains...what, exactly? It's still getting some media attention, there is plenty of talk of boycotting companies with links to Burma and also the Beijing Olympics, this last being the only currently identifiable way of putting pressure on Burma's main support. India's interests and the role it is playing remain a bit murkier.

Recent news of
widespread murders of protesting monks isn't surprising. Anyone with any understanding of the military junta in Burma would know that such a massive reaction is entirely consistent with how they 'govern'.

Collective action will be needed to keep the spotlight on Burma - if news and, most importantly, pictures and video dry up, it'll be harder to maintain the level of scrutiny- even if the junta is resistant.

(2)
The Guardian runs a
write-in competition to have people nominate a President of the World. Read the responses: by turns hilarious and depressing. Being the Guardian you get the usual far-left favourites (Hugo Chavez, but also Nelson Mandela who at least meets most criteria you could think of), then there's the people who try to take it seriously and say why it's such a bad idea which segues neatly into the usual pro and anti America rants after some American says they'll be ruled by outsiders over their cold, dead body. But the stupid suggestions are the best. My favourites? "My landlord's dog." "Daffy Duck. " "Pinocchio." "John Lydon."

(3)
Some blooper jokes just to cheer you up.

These sentences (with all the bloopers) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

  • The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
  • The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
  • Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
  • Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
  • Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in t he park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

(4)

A new Howard Government ad on the teev tonight, all about the evils of marijuana. They're onto something here, but I reckon you actually need a couple of decent spliffs to stomach the other ads, particularly the two extraordinarily well-informed blokes in the pub who are such happy beneficiaries of SerfChoices. Bartender, another number please.

4 comments:

That's so pants said...

Hi Phil

"Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin."

Where is this church? I think I just GOT religion.

xxx

Pants

JahTeh said...

Thank you I needed the laugh especially after a week of liberal party ads. Please, please don't let the voters be that brain dead.

phil said...

Look out for the black people. They're very, very tall. But mostly they're black.

Tampa 2007.

Gerry said...

Thanks for giving me a chuckle, Phil.

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