saturday night and I ain't got nobody

I'm about to make another batch of beer, reading this strengthened my resolve (actually it didn't, but it reminded me that there are lots of things in America apart from our stereotypical understanding of the place).

Apple has shown that a mobile phone can be a pedometer, a restaurant guide (one which can make the reservation, direct you there and let you know which kinds of sustainable seafood you can order with a clear conscience), an ensemble of musical instruments that can be blown down, tapped and strummed, a library, a periodic table, a performer of magic tricks, a translator, a Skype phone, a Twitter client, a radio, a games platform and a device that can set your home satellite TV to record any programme you like wherever you are in the world.

I'm left breathless. I get less technologically able - or indeed ept - by the minute. I have no idea how people do this stuff and, in many cases, I'm even more bemused why they do. It can't be healthy.

Not a widget in sight - this can't be healthy either, but a few people have pocketed a motza.

No widgets here either, but a bloke who kicks a ball is valued at LStg70 million. Please don't try to tell me the world is sane.

So, you can tell I wanted to spread the good word, but I couldn't find one. A very quiet Saddy night.